As soon as we become teenagers, we begin to look forward to the day when we can take our driver's exam, and earn that magical piece of plastic with our picture, that gives us all brand new levels of freedom.  Having a driver's license is a major milestone in our lives, and allows for a great level of independence that continues throughout adulthood, and for a majority of us, into our senior years.  However, as we become older, we sometimes have health issues arise that interfere with our abiity to remain safe drivers.  A result of those aging issues may be giving up our driving privileges.  As you can imagine, this is a very difficult and sensitive topic to discuss.

Recently, our parents purchased a new vehicle, and mom was afraid to drive it.  My sister and I were relieved at her reluctance, and assumed that we had just breezily dodged one of the trickiest conversations: talking to a parent about not driving anymore.  No such luck though.  Dad had taken our mom out to an abandoned parking lot, and practiced with her until she was comfortable.  Granted, mom only drives about three blocks to the hair dresser, but we are still concerned for her safety.  My sister and I have subtly planted the seeds of our worries into conversations with dad, but he is reluctant to take away mom's driving privileges.  We understand that, but safety has to be our main priority.  What are some warning signs of unsafe driving with an elderly parent or loved one?  Here are some things to watch for:

• Problems with the road.  Watch for abrupt lane changes, or problems with braking or acceleration.  Drifting into other lanes of travel or onto the shoulder of the road also may indicate new problems with driving.
• Physical problems with driving.  Watch for physical changes that affect reaction times, such as range of motion issues with hands, feet, or looking over your shoulder.  Vision problems are a significant risk factor, and will affect abilities to read road signs or directions.  Hearing loss can also be an issue that affects our ability to drive safely. 
• Increased anxiety and anger in the car.  Feeling more nervous or fearful while driving can affect our loved one's safety.  Elderly drivers may also feel frustrated or angry with other drivers who are honking at them, not understanding why the other driver is honking. 
• Memory problems.  Getting lost more often, missing exits, and not understanding road signs or pavement markings is a sign that it may be time to consider giving up the keys.
• Close calls or increased traffic tickets.  Having too many "almost an accident" situations calls for an evaluation of your loved one's driving ability.  If your elderly family member or friend has recently been cited for more than one mishap, or traffic violation, consider an evaluation of their driving abilities.

As you can imagine, talking with an elderly parent or loved one about their changing ability to drive may be difficult.  I know that in our conversations with our dad about  concerns with our mom's driving, we all become emotional at what this loss of driving privilege may mean.  However, we've learned that reducing driving privileges doesn't necessarily have to mean a complete loss of independence.  Several family members and neighbors are available to drive our parents to doctor's appointments that are further away from home.  For driving around our area, our dad drives, which is typical.  For close jaunts around town, that mom is familiar with, she is still driving for now.  As a family, keep a close watch on your loved one's driving abilities and continue to evaluate weekly if necessary to ensure that your loved one, and others sharing the roadway, are safe.  Join me next week as I share some tips to remain driving as safely as possible.

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