At some point in our lives, we've all been a caregiver for someone else.  Growing up, we might have had to take care of our younger siblings, hours that we spent anxiously awaiting our parents return.  After marriage, we likely dedicated our time to our own children, enjoying the happy times, and pacing the floor during times of childhood sickness or teenage late nights.  How many times do you remember throwing up your hands in exhaustion, thinking someone else needed to be the parent for awhile?  Do you also remember how rejuvenated and refreshed you felt after hiring a babysitter for the evening?  As we age and care for our elderly family members or loved ones, we often find ourselves right back in the pattern of our younger years, pacing the floor with worry, not getting enough sleep at night, and taking care of everyone's needs but our own.  Sound familiar?  Have you found yourself in a similar situation while providing care for your loved one?  There are options available to help.  Don't feel guilty for needing a break.  It's well deserved and essential to keep you refereshed as a caregiver for your loved one.

Where should you look to find respite care in your area?

One of the best places to start looking is your local Area Agency on Aging.  Every state has some type of Agency on Aging, but often these agencies go by different names in different states.  Senior Citizen Centers are usually estabished in each county and can be found in most phonebooks or by doing an internet web search if you have access to a computer.  These agencies will schedule a home assessment to meet with you and your loved one to discuss your specific needs, and they will refer you to a program that is geared to your individual situation.  Also consider these great resources:

• A local nursing home or assisted living facility.  While you may not be ready for a permanent long term care admission, often these facilities offer great programs for overnight or weekend respite stays.  Some even offer day services for a few hours at a time.
• Adult day care centers.  If you have a center in your community, this can be a terrific option for respite services while you are working or have other appointments scheduled.
• Home Health Care Agencies.   These agencies offer many services that range from respite care to nursing care and light housekeeping.  A nurse or social worker will meet with you and your loved one to determine which services will best meet your needs.
• Churches.  Most congregations have volunteers who will gladly come and stay with your loved one while you run errands, go to doctor appointments, or even meet with friends for lunch. 
• Word of Mouth.  Don't overlook your friends and acquaintances who offer their help.  Take advantage of this great support network and remember, they wouldn't offer to help if they really didn't want to. 

What Are the Benefits of Respite Care for the Elderly?

• R:  Renewal and Relaxation.  Plan time to do something that helps you to relax, such as a walk outside, reading a book, or gardening.  By finding your own way to relax, you will feel refreshed when you return to caregiving.
• E:  Energy.  If your energy level gets too low, you won't be able to provide the level of care that your loved one needs, and you may end up sick yourself.  Take the time to take a break and refuel your battery.
• S:  Space.  We all need a break at some point, whether it's from our spouse, our kids, or loved ones we are caring for.  Taking that break gives us renewed motivation to provide great care for our loved ones. 
• P:  Pleasure.  We all have the right to enjoy our own lives.  Take the time to enjoy your own life's pleasures and you won't end up resentful. 
• I:  Identity.  Don't lose sight of yourself while providing care for your loved.  Keep doing the things that make you "You".
• T: Time Away.  Sometimes, we just need to step away from our situation to see it more clearly, and realize what, if any, improvements can be made to provide the best care possible for our loved one. 
• E:  Engagement.  Don't neglect your friends and other family members who still depend on your relationship with them.  These social and family connections jointly give you purpose along with your role as a caregiver.

What If My Loved One Won't Accept Respite Care?

Change is hard for anyone, but there are ways to ease your loved one into accepting a respite care provider.  For example, your local home health agency may provide a care aide to come to your house and provide basic services such as light housekeeping and assistance with individual grooming or dressing needs.  As your loved one becomes more comfortable, the care provider can increase the amount of time he or she spends in your home, and you can gradually decrease your time  until you are able to leave the home for longer periods of time.

The most challenging part of accepting respite care is realizing that you can't do everything by yourself.  Forgive yourself and let go of your guilt.  It doesn't serve a purpose.  Accept help from those around you when they offer.  You aren't imposing, they wouldn't offer if they really didn't want to help. 

Remember, every day, families just like yours and mine are facing a health care crisis with a loved one.  The support and education you need to navigate the aging journey is available at your finger tips from expert care professionals at Lutheran Homes of Michigan.  For more information on dealing with a life changing issue with your parents or a loved one, contact a care representative at Lutheran Homes of Michigan by calling 989-652-3470 or by emailing This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Resources

http://ezinearticles.com/?Giving-an-Elder-Caregiver-a-Break---7-Places-to-Find-Respite-Care&id=4032008

http://www.seniorhomes.com/p/respite-care-elderly/

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