The holidays can bring a lot of joy and anticipation for most of us. For those who've recently lost a loved one, it may be something to dread. If you are a caregiver to an older person who is experiencing the loss of a loved one, how can you help to make the holidays one that they will enjoy?

Many older people experience depression and grief during the holiday season. The older we get, the more people we probably have lost to death. Our abilities to function become harder to maintain as we experience health issues. Change is not always a good thing when it comes to mental health. Holidays are about traditions and sharing good times with loved ones. But what if a loved one has recently passed? What if we've had to give up our beloved home for alternate housing? These are just two of the causes of holiday depression.

It's important to recognize the signs of depression in our loved ones, as well as ourselves. Are they sleeping too much or not enough? Are they eating well? Are they beginning to talk about dying a lot? Do they neglect to socialize? Withdrawing from friends and loved ones is very detrimental to good health. If you or a loved one is experiencing all, or most of these symptoms, it would be wise to get professional help. Showing that you care enough to keep a close eye on them, will help them to understand that they might have a serious problem.

For those of you who are experiencing grief from the loss of a loved one, know that the pain will ease with time. If it's a loved one who is grieving, listen to them. They need to let it out. If it's your mom or dad, you are also grieving. Take care of yourself and a reach out to a kind friend who will listen to your feelings.

Take care of you or your loved ones' physical health. Get enough sleep. Eat right. Exercise everyday and get enough sunshine. Our days are getting shorter and with it we experience less sunlight. So take advantage of the light we do have. Sit in a sunny window or get out on the porch while the light is good. Taking a brisk walk during the warmer hours of the day can improve your mental outlook.

Do your best not to overdo with holiday preparations. Keep it simple. This is especially wise if you're having more health problems. Delegate some of the cooking and entertaining that you normally would do.

Spend a little extra time in prayer. God can heal the broken heart. Depend on it! Crying is inevitable and good up to a point. If you're spending too much time crying, give yourself a time limit. I know that sounds absurd, but try it. Then change your activity. Call a friend or do something nice for someone else. Even in your grief, you can be a blessing to someone else.

Holiday traditions might be painful if it's the first holiday without a loved one. Don't be afraid to change your traditions or pass them along to a younger family member. My best friend lost both of her parents this year. She has decided this would be a good year to join her daughter-in-laws family.

Let us know how you have dealt with a grieving loved one, or your own personal grief. We need to share our burdens and our wisdom!

If you or a family member is going through a crisis, I want you to know that you're not alone. The support and education you need is available at your finger tips from expert care professionals at Lutheran Homes of Michigan. You may talk to a real person who does have the answers, without any obligation by calling 989.652.3470 or by emailing This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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